Late November

There is a man below

approximately forty five degrees below

whether I am in bed or in the chair beside the bed,
his voice follows me,
bothers me,
destroys me.

His voice is stupidly confident, and arrogant,

demanding.

I suppose he thinks he knows who he is,

as there is little of hesitation in the noise,

the stream of sound pouring out of him.

I hate him.

I could také a machine gun and end his life,

without a moment's hesitation,

but not if I could see him.

If I could see him,

I might shout at him to shut up,

pointlessly,

because he would stare at me open-mouthed,

incapable of imagining that I need silence,

not chatter,

and not slamming doors,

squeaking doors,

or echoing voices.

But, what,then, would I do with the silly girls,
whose voices come late at night,
from above me?
they seem to live inside the walls,
and their voices also resonate,
growing stronger with the help

of the materials out of which this wretched building has been built,

laughing and breathing,
pausing to enjoy their lives,
or pausing to think,

they are all too audible and irritating.

Life is no joy,
and much pain;
It is full of everyday irritations
and the overwhelming presence of other people,
unwanted  and strange voices,
entering unwanted univinted into my consciousness.

And that's even before I've gone out the door.

Once I've opened the door,
and gone outside,
I am even less safe,
less free from penetrating wants:
I may be accosted by the apartment manager,
with her demands.
--But she only wants to help,
and save me from homelessness!

I don't care how polite she is;

I want to be left alone.

I have things to say,

and not to her!

things to read,

thoughts to think,

but I can't begin to think before I've been stopped:

everyone insists upon pushing, penetrating, poking me.

Thoughtlessly,

insistently,

callously.

Why can't they all just leave me alone?

Because this building is nothing more than a torture chamber?

Because our lives were designed by some cruel student of Guantanamo?

Late November

Pardubice