Emotional Diary; Emotional Confession
Slightly revised, but not perfected, of a Friday
Today I saw a middle-aged--certainly not young woman--lady, bending over to wipe the stairs with a wet cloth. She was cleaning in the dorm where I currently live. That is her life, her job.
My mother, no longer young, or even middle-aged, today cares for my father. She has never retired. My father retired long ago..................
My grumbling can seem insignificant in comparison to their difficult lives, but nothing comes from nothing: heedlessness happens at every level in an unjust society (such as ours). Heedlessness means indifference to noise as well as indifference to human suffering on a more destructive scale.
And capitalism is nothing if not heedless and indifferent to my discomfort,my mother's sacrifice, and the hard lives of Czech cleaning ladies working in a student dormitory...................
Slightly revised, but not perfected, of a Friday
Today I saw a middle-aged--certainly not young woman--lady, bending over to wipe the stairs with a wet cloth. She was cleaning in the dorm where I currently live. That is her life, her job.
My mother, no longer young, or even middle-aged, today cares for my father. She has never retired. My father retired long ago..................
My grumbling can seem insignificant in comparison to their difficult lives, but nothing comes from nothing: heedlessness happens at every level in an unjust society (such as ours). Heedlessness means indifference to noise as well as indifference to human suffering on a more destructive scale.
And capitalism is nothing if not heedless and indifferent to my discomfort,my mother's sacrifice, and the hard lives of Czech cleaning ladies working in a student dormitory...................
I am acutely aware of the fact that we
all deserve respect and consideration.
I am also willing to grant that a woman
who works as a cleaner in a student dormitory, or its hotel portion, deserves at
least as much respect as I do—possibly more, in virtue of the
physically demanding nature of the work, and the low status accorded
it.
Moreover, I am vividly aware of the
fact that Capitalist society produces such monstrosities as
bullet-proof glass in banks which makes it hard to speak to a teller
on the other side of the glass, and that this is very unfriendly.
But it is also unfriendly when I enter
my accomodation to view a woman peering at me (friendly or not)
behind a pane of glass in a booth set up as a sort of observation
post, immediately opposite the front door
That structure all by itself creates an atmosphere.
I am, however, still upset and angry—with a mixture of confusion and pure upset. What triggered it? Something trivial, of course. Yesterday, as I rushed home--between classes, after being on my feet for several hours--and hoping to get off my feet, and possibly take a short nap, I found that things had been moved in my kitchen---the kitchen of a flat which I rent.
Of course, no damage was done. Bottles
and containers had been pushed to one side, evidently to make it
possible to wipe down the counter. But this upset me. I felt as
though my privacy had been taken away.
And, even worse, I imagined that a
plastic bag had been thrown away---a useful bag if I go swimming.
It had not been thrown away. I'd only put it away in an unusual
place—which, in fact, had done hoping to ward off any potential
problems with a cleaning lady?Problems with a cleaning lady? Well, they come at irregular intervals, and I would not like to leave a total mess for them.
On the other hand, I had not expected any cleaning ladies on Thursday the regular cleaner had informed me that she would be off on Wednesday.--And she had just cleaned my bathroom and kitchen.
So, with my imagination inflated and
full of anger, I wrote a complaining letter and sent it to the manager. Worst of all I
remarked that this all reeks of Communism. And that can only be
misunderstood.
I do not think that the USA is a model of anything. I do not think that formerly Socialist countries (so-called) have got to improve and work their way up to freedom and democracy. I don't think that because I don't think that the USA is especially democratic or free.....So, I wouldn't think that Central Europeans have much to learn from the USA.
However, I fear that my hasty use of the C-word might suggest such a false theory.
And I am still upset, even as I write......
unfinished
Thought two days later:
'communist' is right insofar as it reminds one of a certain period; wrong in suggesting that leftist politics inevitably degenerate. But it is right to protest the following: If someone comes to visit me, then he or she must sign their name into a book, and (I presume, since I've not yet had a visitor) produce some form of ID. Thus they are keeping a record of who comes and goes.
They are keeping records of my private life!
They do not merely observe my comings and goings; they also record my visitors!
That is communistic~! (In the vulgar sense.........)
And it is a hangover from the days of the former "regime".............
what do they imagine? Are they protecting business secrets? Not likely.
Are they preventing me from bringing in thiefs or ruffians? The mere suggestion is an insult.
What a pity I cannot write all of this in Czech!
The University of Pardubice
D Block
Studentska 22
The Czech Republic
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