FREEDOM NOT SPOKEN HERE

FREEDOM NOT SPOKEN HERE;

ORDINARY EVERYDAY REPRESSION AND CONTROL AT THE LOCAL K MART

Today I walked to the local KMart--a good 20 minute walk, and not particularly

a pleasant walk. Got there after crossing the busy street. A street filled with enormous trucks, many of them noisy--either because their motors made noise or because the driver insisted on playing his or her favorite music loudly. (And speaking of unpleasant sounds, as I type this at 12:15, somebody is playing loud music which sounds like pounding right now....)

The pedestrian cross light is timed so that you cannot hesitate or wait a second if you are to cross the street in time. That's not pleasant either--but that's par for the course in El Paso, Texas.

Then, once on the other side of the street, I walk on a sidewalk flanked by houses sporting fences, trucks parked in front, and here and there dogs. But, as a rule,

I am the only one outside walking--which to me is decidedly unnerving. I see nothing but empty spaces and cars.....This is not civilization.

When I arrived at the store, the man at the door told me that it was "store policy" that I was not allowed to enter the store with my "large" backpack.

We discussed this. He began by telling me that he did not make the policy. I would have to be an idiot to think he did......I should have told him that Germans who worked in the concentration camps were also following orders. But let's just say the conversation was not pleasant. It was false. He was asserting his authority and engaging in the typical American friendly but false smile and gesture. And I was foolish enough that I tried to communicate with him as a person, "Look. You are not just an employee and I am not just a customer. You have a brain and can understand what I'm saying..." Not my exact words but that's the nub of it... At any rate, I have forgotten the details, but it was NOT PLEASANT. I feel sick to my stomach thinking of it now. If that's all my mastery of my mother tongue is good for, then I would rather be partial master of another language than be full master of a language spoken in a land so repressive as is the USA.

AND THAT WAS ONLY One of many UNPLEASANT experiences I have had in the land of my birth, when I've failed to satisfy unwritten rules, such as that you must have a driver's license.....One of many unpleasant experiences when I've done nothing but attempted to carry out the most mundane and necessary tasks.

And now that I think about it, I have entered department stores and grocery stores with that back pack, and even larger ones--in Prague, in Vienna, and in Bratislava, and never was I required to leave my backpack at the door.

This is NOT a free country. It is, in fact, MUCH LESS FREE than other places I have know....

Please get me out of here as soon as possible.

I can't perform the most routine activity without being suspected of being a thief, accused without trial ..... Here I am in the land of my birth and I am POWERLESS, less respected than I ever was in an Eastern or Central European land.....