Do you know it when you see it? Or, you tell me.

Today I accompanied my elderly parents on a visit to a new doctor.

It was very tiring.

My father likes to tell war stories. He likes to talk about events that happened sixty or more years ago. Sometimes it is not clear why he tells his stories on any given occasion. Often, it seems to me that he begins when literally anything triggers a memory. A given cue could lead
to a more indirect chain of associations. That means that the story my father is telling could have nothing to do with the conversation at hand, except perhaps that by some possibly lengthy chain of association a memory was stirred.

In the course of our time in the office my father told the new doctor a few of his stories. I wasn't counting at the time, and can't say how many stories he told or how long they took. (My father does this all the time, so if I actually kept track I think I'd go mad.) The stories did not seem to connect directly with our purpose in visiting the doctor.

When the doctor wished to question my mother about her history, I confess that she did not always answer his questions directly. Sometimes it seemed that she was opening a memory file filled with lots of details and looking for the correct answer amidst other facts.

I cannot say, objectively speaking, whether my father provided more not directly relevant
information than my father. However, it was to my mother that the doctor expressed his frustration. The interview was not going as he wanted. He wasn't getting his questions answered. (And, I concede, they were reasonable questions.....)

Nonetheless, I wonder. I had a thought: was the doctor more tolerant of my father?
Could there have been a little paternalism in his annoyance at my mother?

I do not know. But I wonder about it.

There's more to say about this event... e.g., the doctor's willingness to complain to me about the stupidity of his patients--no, he did not use that word..... (If I have time in the future, I shall return to this entry. )