Capitalism is disgusting. A manager in the local grocery store just pretended to be friendly, engaged in idle chatter with me---insultingly so...in that naive way asking a personal question---naively and without intending to offend, he pissed me off.....and I suppressed my anger and embarrassment.
He had no business asking such a personal question....... And I joked about it, as if it were acceptable to me, rather than what it was: irritatingly intrusive.....
He behaving for all the world as if he and I were somehow friends, old friends, speaking causally without invitation.....all for the sake of what? To promote himself? To gain profits for his employer? To preserve his job, his image as "customer friendly"?
I want to throw up.
I want to take a hot shower with powerful soap.
I want never to see that man again, never to speak to him, never again feel the need to smile back and play this insincere disgusting capitalist game.....
And, as I feel revulsion bordering on actual illness, I think of my Central European friends who are embarrassed because their shopkeepers and sales clerks don't play those insincere games...
And I think of the arrogant English-speakers who complain about the bad manners of so-called communist shopkeepers in Central Europe.
I prefer a sincere frown to that loathsome smiling and false friendliness. Just thinking of it again now makes my skin crawl.
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